Operation: Darrell Bell

There is a stick stuck up my a**, and I can't get it out! Help me out Tweeps!

My friend Adrian Franks shared a link on his Facebook Wall about how Congress was Tweeting like school girls during President Obama’s address to the joint session. Instead of paying attention, they took to their BlackBerrys, and let off a barrage of “That man sure know how to wear a suit” type of postings to everybody’s micro-blog site of choice, Twitter.  While one Representative opined how nice it was not to see Dick Cheney, another describes the atmosphere as being “Electric”.  I guess this is the transparency in government we wanted *shrugs*.

Well, the fact that Congress people Tweet is nothing new. In fact, I find it encouraging that we have people in power that can spell t-e-c-h-n-o-l-o-g-y.  However, you know they are not keeping it real on all the time on Twitter.  It would be totally refreshing if they said what they were truly thinking.  Since they don’t seem to have the “grapefruits” to that, I guess I will do it for them.  Here are the Tweets that you don’t get to see…

• Pelosi, yeah – I’ll do her. I would love to show her my “stimulus package”.
• Someboody finally pulled the stick out of John Boehner’s ass. #relief
• Barney Frank – boxers or briefs?
• I think Hilary  C. is wearing a thong today. No lines in her pants suit today.
• Will somebody tell Lindsey Grahm that the year is 2009, and not 1809.
• I think Rangel just farted.
• Obama just gave me the “finger point” and a “fist bump”, I can’t wait to tell my wife and my mistress
• RT Obama, asked for how much? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii……
• LOL – McCain still mad – SMH
• Somebody send Harry Reid out for snacks. We are almost out of Doritos.
• Run! Its Lou Dobbs!

Oh those wacky sophmoric Senators!  Ha, I’ll tell you – thanks Twitter… I couldn’t think of a better use of the Tax Payer dollars (or what we have left of them).

Now that I have offended enough people on my second blog post not to have anyone comeback – like ever…  If you really want to see Congress at work (through Twitter), I suggest you check out http://tweetcongress.org/.  They track all of our Congress people who Tweet all in one handy-dandy site.  You may also find of interesrt that John “I don’t know how to use e-mail” McCain now has a Twitter account. Who says you can’t teach an old (very old)  dog new tricks.  While he got his arse handed to him in the election, he is the man on Twitter.

Most Followed Officials on Twitter

1. John McCain R — AZ (95,376)
2. Claire McCaskill D — MO (10,944)
3. John Culberson R — TX (7,988)
4. Jim DeMint R — SC (7,635)
5. John Boehner R — OH (4,969)
6. Pete Hoekstra R — MI (4,454)
7. Nancy Pelosi D — CA (4,155)
8. Eric Cantor R — VA (3,899)
9. Chuck Grassley R — IA (3,454)
10. Mark Warner D — VA (3,104)

 

Ok, the moral of the story is… We all can see how we are getting screwed in real-time in 140 character intervals.

I'm number 1! Sun will shine on a dog's behind sometimes.

Quote from the Microphone God, Rakim: "Nobody Smiling"

I am checking the calendar here, and um, it looks like the year is 2009 and not 1809.  Though Rupert Murdoch may look like he is old enough to have been born two centuries ago, his NY Post, er – uh Newspaper(?), apparently didn’t get the memo.  What memo am I referring to? Black people are not, no were they ever  a monkey / chimp / ape / baboon / primate et.al.

 Without being overly redundant, Al Sharpton and every person with common sense was outraged by the NY Post Editorial Cartoon depicting a shot dead chimp with the caption, “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill.”  Ha! Wow that is funny! Wait, its funny, and it satire = double funny. Hold up, *chortle snort* it’s like we can tie can this dead deranged chimp to the authorship of the Stimulus Bill – people are going to love this.  Pump your breaks; this is not a laughing matter.  In fact, I have seen more people smiling in an Eric B and Rakim video.

Good Day Mate! I'm Col Allan, and I think you are stupid.

I guess “The Post”; more specifically Col Allan thinks that you are stupid.  Apparently he thinks that you have the I.Q. of the dead primate featured in that cartoon.  He expected people not to tie the chimp to Obama. By his logic, the assassinated animal would be House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, and not President Obama. Hmmm, let’s test his logic. While true the initial authorship started with the Democrats of congress, Obama took the opportunity of his first national press conference to exclaim that it was his bill. The bill would ride or die (no pun) with him.  Even if it was Pelosi, should she catch two in the chest? FAIL! Next, I will illustrate a point for the kids who rode the short bus. Let us examine what Racialslurs.com has to say about monkeys and the like:

Bo-Bo: Sounds like a monkeys name or implies stupidty.

Ghetto Monkey: Blacks tend to live in ghettos.

Lawn Jockey: Most all Lawn Jockeys are Black, sometimes also known as Porch Monkey. Author Ralph Ellison used the term to describe black people who felt/were treated as if they were speaking on behalf of the black race.

Monkey: Similar appearance/genetics.

Monkeyboy: People once believed, because of their high cranium, blacks were close cousins to primates.

I think you get the point, or atleast I hope you do.  I found 41 references to monkey as a slur on that site, yet the Aussie born Allan can’t see how people might be a tad confused about what he chose to publish. Perhaps they don’t have many monkeys in Austraila? (Sarcastic pun intended FTW!)

I'm Rupport Murdoch. I'm rich and I own lots of stuff. Keith Olbermann thinks I talk like a pirate, Arrrr.

I think the real reason why Col did what he did is: Well, apparently he has beef with Rupport Murdoch, AKA, his boss. I won’t go into the details of it here, but you can watch Keith Olbermann and Murdoch biographer, Michael Wolff, chop it up if you got a minute.

Even if there is beef between Allan and Murdoch, that is not an excuse for posting a cartoon implying that The President should be shot over a piece of legislation.  I think “The Post” needs to hire Mos Def to handle the the editorial department.  The Mighty Mos DEFinitely knows what the meaning of Beef is. 

Yep, shoulda called me! BROOKLYN STAND UP!

Despite the efforts of Al Sharpton, I think a lot of people would have been ready to write this one off as The NY Post being The NY Post. It’s the non-apologetic apology that keeps the fire burning.  Check it out:

Wednesday’s Page Six cartoon – caricaturing Monday’s police shooting of a chimpanzee in Connecticut – has created considerable controversy.

It shows two police officers standing over the chimp’s body: “They’ll have to find someone else to write the next stimulus bill,” one officer says.

It was meant to mock an ineptly written federal stimulus bill.

Period.

But it has been taken as something else – as a depiction of President Obama, as a thinly veiled expression of racism.

This most certainly was not its intent; to those who were offended by the image, we apologize.

However, there are some in the media and in public life who have had differences with The Post in the past – and they see the incident as an opportunity for payback.

To them, no apology is due.

Sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon – even as the opportunists seek to make it something else.

I tell you what, those guys got balls. Big ones.  Grapefruit sized. My dad taught me to standup whenever I did something wrong, and to be accountable for it.  When you screw up, you screw up (*cough – gives A-Rod the side eye*).  This has nothing to do with past Post beef, right Mos Def? *Mos Def says No!* So, what  they are really saying is… We don’t really see how that chimpanzee could be interpreted as Obama, but if you did… my bad. After all, it was just a cartoon dumbass.  However, you might be just a hater so FRACK YOU!  Again, for the short bus kids, let me illustrate an apology.

Dear America and Global Citizens,

We are deeply sorry for the Cartoon we posted.  It showed a lack of judgment on our part. We did not intend to suggest the monkey was Obama, because to do so would be an endorsement of assassination, and a continuation of racial stereotypes and slurs.   We at The NY Post do not condone such behavior, and you have our sincere apology.

Would that have been so hard, you bastards?

Welcome to my blog, let’s get it cracking.